I was born in Sarasota but moved north as a small child. I have been back in Florida for two years now and I fancy a number of curiosities about this place relative to my thirty-plus years in the Midwest (minus a few years on the West coast).
COLD FRONTS AND LOW HUMIDITY
Why is it that anytime the humidity gets below 50%, there is a fire warning? With all this water here, it boggles my pea-sized brain how it could burn so easily. Our first Spring in Florida was punctuated by weeks of smoke plumes rising around us in every direction. We were forced to make our hurricane bug-out plan early so we could use it in case the swamp burned. I know it gets below 50% humidity in other places; I just haven't figured out why Florida seems to burn more easily.
SHOPPING CARTS
I have noticed that everywhere in Southwest Florida there is a general sense of shopping cart entitlement. Very few people feel the need to park their carts in the cart corral. While I tend to respond to a sense of guilt induced by spotting the cart corral out of the corner of my eye, most people do not. No need to work too hard here in the land of always-sunny-in-Florida! No shopping cart is going to rain on my parade!
DRIVING
I have never lived in a place with such disdain for traffic law. Although, I have a few theories about why people drive the way they do; not that it makes my life any easier...
First, Florida's population is highly transient so many people just don't feel any need to care about how they drive or what they do. This isn't home, it's a way-station of relaxing, leave-your-cares-behind hedonism which translates to a certain vehicular freedom. On the other side of that itinerant/half-resident coin are the elderly snowbirds who just shouldn't be on the road anymore. I feel bad for even saying it but all that weaving between lanes, pulling out in front of people, and frustratingly slow driving is enough to make even the most patient person a little loopy.
The Florida natives (or anyone who has been here longer than the housing boom) rebel against these interlopers by becoming highly aggressive drivers who feel a sort of self-enabling sense of I-deserve-to-act-like-this-because-all-those-people-drive-me-to-it. These are the drivers who speed down the merge lane and onto the shoulder to pass on the right or turn right in front of you at a light from the left-hand turn lane. I've been in so many almost-accidents that it no longer scares me silly but it can still be a little nerve-rattling.
THE ONLOOKER DELAY PHENOMENON
The mere fact that this term, onlooker delay, is used daily by the news as a way to explain all the highway backup says volumes about how people drive here. Drop a deer by the side of the road on the other side of the road and traffic will back up a mile. Add a car and a cop and you've got a recipe for miles of traffic havoc and a few extra accidents to boot.
TENNIS AND YOUTHFUL OLD LADIES
I'm sorry about the reference to age but it is a good one. I have taken up tennis since I arrived here and I play in a local women's league. What I never counted on was the 70-80 year old women who can really play tennis. (You go girls!) While they may not be able to move well, they are very skilled with the racket and I find myself using a strange tactic to win... Wear 'em down.
SILVER ALERT
Is the term silver alert used anywhere else? It is a play on the Amber Alert and is posted when someone of the elderly variety is missing, usually because of dementia. While this is an important service, calling it a silver alert is seems demeaning. Besides, in the age of hair dyes, botox, and juvederm, who has silver hair anymore?
TREES
Florida has lots of trees and very little shade. 'Nuff said.
No comments:
Post a Comment